Saturday, September 18, 2010

To give love, is to receive love.

The soft buzzing sound of an engine came closer, as I heard it turn into our driveway, forwarding, then reversing. I waited. The doors opened, and closed. BEEP! That familiar alarm, that I wait for daily. It means the Hubs home! Without the beep, I wouldn't go to the door. I've done that before, opening, only to realise its the neighbour. I have trained my ears so well, that I recognise the sound so clearly, its almost no mistake. I know when its him, and I know when its friends.

Its my daily routine that when I hear that, I'll go to the door, and jump on him with a big hug and smile. Its a sign of "Welcome HOME!". We've always wanted our own place, and that place has to feel good, to want to hang out in it. I've tried my best to make our home, like home, in the sense of food, comfort and love. But I'm still a messy and lazy person inside, so my place is still quite a mess, but I'm still trying.

Today was no different, except that, the beep came a little later than it should. I was looking around for my slippers that were stuck under my sofa. As I grabbed them, he had already opened the door.

"Dearie??!?!", echoed in a soft-tone.
"Ya?" I shouted back.
"Where are you?", while taking of his work boots.
"Hold on! I'm putting on my bedroom slippers, coming right now!", I popped out in front of him.
His face looked concerned, and not too happy as he stood up from removing his boots. He came over and scooped me into his arms.
"Hey baby, I missed you, why so late?", I asked, surprised at his reaction, since he's not usually so full of affection.
"I'm sorry."
"Why? What happened?" thinking that something must have happened at work.
He scooped me in another big bear hug. "I'm sorry that I shouted at you today."

Tears welled up in my eyes, as I tried to hold it back. I took the fight earlier, as that we both had a moment of frustration, and I didn't want to go back to it anymore. I did have a short burst of tears while we were fighting outside, but I held back and continued with my day as though nothing happened. I treated him with as much love as I usually did. And we joked, and chatted, as per like any other happy day.

My grip around him tightened. As my emotions came upon me. We are both Aries, temperamental and stubborn in our own way. When something happens, we usually fight over it, get angry, quarrel, sleep and forget about it. The next day, always becomes like any other day, cheerful and great, as long as I get a good sleep the night before. This time, it seems, he went to work, and thought about what happened today. It seems he thought about my feelings. It seems he thought about me at work. I felt loved.

"I love you.", I whispered, not releasing my grip.
"Love you too.", as he kissed me on my cheek.
"Love you much more!!!", I teased, with a kiss on his lips.

As he went about his nightly routine, my eyes followed him around with much love and respect. I've been telling myself, "To give love, is to receive love. The more you give, the more you receive."

Today it paid back. It felt good. The warm fuzzy feeling I had in my heart, as I cuddled with him to sleep. Love, and loved.

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