Somehow, yesterday, after many days of procrastination, I changed into my sports attire, and started working out again. My muscle groups are still sore today, after a long break from working out. The last time I worked out was before our San Francisco trip. That would be like, 1 and 1/2 months ago?
I could feel the difference in my body. Back then, I could workout everyday, and feel energised. Not sore at all. I was hardly breathless, and didn't sweat too much in the earlier parts of my routines. I managed to work myself into doing some of the Insanity videos, after finding that Jillian Michaels was getting too easy for me, and I bought 5 lbs weights, after realising that the 3lbs were too light for me. After a month of just light walking, and not hitting the sweaty point, my entire body seemed to have lazed off. I can't find any firm or lean muscles, everything has gone back to flab.
I have been constantly feeling tired, and sleepy all day. Even sleeping 11 hours didn't help. And I was at my breaking point yesterday, when I drove up a curb, and I stomped on my breaks and just paused there. Stoned. Hubs shouted at me to get going before another car came onto us. He was worried about how I am going to learn driving if I couldn't react to it. I felt tired after that incident, and annoyed with myself. It just drained alot of me, and when we reached home, all I wanted to do was to lay on the bed and be alone. I'm very much of a perfectionist in some ways. The things that I want to do, must be perfectly done, learnt in the shortest period of time. If it doesn't turn out well, I get pissed or annoyed with myself for failing what I wanted to do.
I had many months to learn how to drive, but have been procrastinating. I never really thought of it, and in fact, I fear it. I quite hate having the idea of being in control of this huge machine and it may get me around safely, or cost me my life. I've managed to get the Hubs to teach me quite a few times over the past 2 weeks, and I've managed to drive around our little neighbourhood, safely. So when that happened in the main road, I was just in shock.
Later in the day, after the Hubs went to work, I went online to check out how other people thought of driving, and I realised I wasn't alone in having that fear. I love cool cars, and all, but I'd rather a cool dude drive me around too. ;) I was alot calmer after reading the articles, but yet, frustrated with myself for being such a wuss. In the past 3 months, I sweated to all my frustrations. I vented in the gym, pushing myself super hard, or on 2 Insanity videos, that made me feel like I was going to die, with my face all red and sweaty.
Yesterday, was no different, knowing I have not been working out, I picked out JM's Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism. Its a bodyweight workout, and all you need was just a mat. It did do its job in making my entire body ache, and me sweaty and breathless once again. I hate the workout process, but its what it brings me after the process. After bathing, I always feel refreshed, energised, and wanting to take on something I can't. I just wanted to face my problems head on. For now, its wanting to take the car out for another drive, and making it better than the previous drive I had.
When the Hubs came back from work, I shouted, " Lets go drive tomorrow again!", and he looked at me and knew, I haven't gave up on it, like what I used to do. I know I need to learn by November, and I am putting this on my priority list. I also need to exercise, to give me energy, and alertness in everything I do. Lets make this work out now.
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