10 rules to a successful relationship

We started dating on 6th july 2002. Got married on 09 Sept 2009. As of now, we've been dating for 9 years and married for 2. I see the dating part as a part to iron out the creases of a relationship. Its common to have quarrels and fights all the time as 2 people try to unite and get to know more of each other.

Most people get together due to the fact that they find a lot of common views in each other. Be it in thoughts, in hobbies, in life. As you try to understand each other, the more you realize that you're different. I see the differences as an introduction to widening your view on life. Too many times people get too comfortable in relationships that they get lazy to continue working on it. But a relationship is a continuing process. You can't stop working on it. The day you stop working on it, is the start of your love dying off.

We've come to the stage where while we still have our differences, we hardly quarrel anymore. I don't remember the last time we had a big shouting match or argument. But each and everyday has been filled with love and happiness found in our company. Different relationships require different work. But here are my own rules to maintain mine.

While this is written with a female's point of view. I believe a male can do the same too.

Ten rules to a successful relationship:

1) Hugs & Kisses
I don't mean full on, wet, saliva dripping, tongue - action kissing. I mean a peck on the lips before you leave for work, or before you leave to go out with your friends, when you wake up, before you sleep, and any other time you feel like doing it. Its a small action that only requires a second to do, but it does bring warmth to the heart, and it does feed the love growing in you. But one thing to note, do it even if you both are on a cold war. DO NOT DEPRIVE EACH OTHER OF A KISS EVEN IF YOU'RE FIGHTING. Many times, a hug and a kiss has done lots to extinguish the fire burning in our bellies when we've been quarreling, and we're able to sit down and talk things out, rather than shout at the top of our lungs.

2) Cook when you can.
They say, "Food is the way to a man's heart." Its TRUE! There's no denying that we find comfort in food. Food brings sweet memories of family, home, and love. When you put love and care in the preparation of your food, you can taste it in every mouthful! You'll be looking forward to having home cooked food every time, rather than going out distracting yourselves with friends and the public, thus having less time for each other.

3) Clear the housework.
When bills are paid, and the house is clean and neat, it means there's nothing much on the lists of to-do, other than the ones that you both really want to do together. Again, this gives time for enjoyment together, thus feeding the love!

4) Invest in activities you can do together
If you find that you have similar interests, invest on it! Say, both of you enjoy playing games. Get a XBox 360, and buy the games that you both would enjoy playing together. This keeps both of you home, and spending time with each other. If you enjoy watching drama series/movies, get the best TV you can afford, a sound system, a super comfortable love seat sofa, and a media player. Its an investment to keep you both home, and spending time together, without boring the hell out of each other.

5) Listen, Talk. Action!
There's a time to listen, and a time to talk. Listen to each other's needs and wants. Talk about your differences, and weigh out the pros and cons and make those decisions together. When you're a couple, and you seek each other for opinions, you show respect to each other, and to come to a compromise. Nobody should be "higher" than the other.

6) Love his family/friends as your own.
 There's nothing more important to a man than his family and his friends. Don't degrade or disrespect any of them. Love and care for them as if they are your own, and he'll treat you as his treasure. And I don't mean to fake it out. People do feel it. Open your heart and learn to accept them with real love.


7) Put him as your top priority in your life. 
When you give more, you take more. When you put him as the king of your palace, and he feels like that prince, trust me, he will return the favor. People need constant reassurances to know that they're being loved, and that we're there for them all the time. This does means some sacrifices in your lifestyles, but trust me, small sacrifices to have a loving relationship for life, is totally worth it.

 8) Sex & Seduction. (for the married couples only)
There's a reason why every men's survey shows they ideally want sex 3 times a week! BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT GETTING IT! Pleasure is an addiction, and no one should be denied of it. Humans are made this way to reproduce. Sex is not dirty, neither is seducing your man. If you're not enjoying making love, find out why? Try to find ways to get turned on. Find out what rocks your world, what makes your mind spin, and what makes you want more. If you need toys or props to get turned on, GET THEM! Getting a vibrator does not make you a slut, you just happen know what you want. Men will work hardest to make sure their woman enjoy it as much as them. Trust me, its turns them on much more when the woman they are in bed with, climax and are having as much fun as they are. Seduce them, make them feel wanted, and show much much you crave for their attention. Don't worry about the flaws on your body, that will be the last thing they notice when they see you getting your SEXY on.

9) Give him his space, and get your own.
 There's bound to be some things that each of you enjoy doing but not the other. Take some time off to indulge in your own stuff, while he does his "things". My husband enjoys snowboarding in winter, and gaming on his PC/Xbox. I take the time when he is away to do what I like. Play with my gadgets and stuff.. Sometimes he has to go away on his work attachments. And these trips could take almost a month. I used to not be able to handle being alone, since we've lived together for all the time we've been together. But over time, I've started to enjoy time off for myself, and doing things I enjoy, like baking, reading, and photography.

10) Never belittle each other.
"Do not do onto others, what you would not do onto yourselves." Respect each other as you would want people to respect you. Don't call each other degrading terms. Be encouraging. Be open to ideas, and push away any negative thoughts you have of each other. Support each other. Even if you think his ideas are not going to work, give it a try, because you never know!

With that said, love is always growing. And like every growth, you need to feed it. Keep on feeding the love, keep on feeling the LOVE. 

Falling into fall...

A blink of an eye, and summer is over. We're going into autumn, known as one of the most beautiful seasons of the whole year. The day starts chilly in the mornings, comfortably warm in the afternoons, and shiveringly cold at night. I would love it more, if not for the stark reminder that after autumn comes winter, and being one that hates cold, it sucks.

Winter here is crazy.  We've experienced temperatures here that has dropped way below, -18 degrees Celsius to be exact. Even layering the thickest clothes wouldn't help if you had the slightest bit of skin exposed. My nose and ears hurt with the slightest wind. Skin cracking and bleeding were a common sight. Lips were dry, and peeling constantly. If it was snowing, the water from the melted snow would seep into the shoes and my toes would hurt from frostbite. I hate winter, and I can't emphasize it enough.

The hubs is looking forward to it though. It means he could go out onto the mountains and snowboard and play all he could, and his wife couldn't follow him, 'cause she was too afraid of the cold, and the speed and adrenaline rush was really not for her.

I wonder what winter would bring this time around. Would we break last year's record snowfall? We'll see.

I can't wait!!!! Nokia product review coming up!

OMG! Time flies! And it flies so very fast! Since the Border's closing down sale, I've been stuck on reading my books, trying new recipes, and playing with my gadgets.. How do people update their blogs like everyday??? I do have lots of photos, but the thought of loading them up one by one, kills! I'm a LAZY blogger, get used to it! But hey, I'm trying! Give me some more time!! I'll eventually post all my pics up!

I've been wanting to get into doing product reviews. And I'm glad to say Nokia has accepted my request! I'm so excited that my items have shipped out, and I get to play with them for 2 weeks. Excited to know what is coming up? I'll take pics of the unboxing and share with you my experience. 

Meanwhile, I have plenty of reviews I'd like to do. Mainly with my self purchased new gadgets and new games. Trying to organise my life alittle right now, and hopefully, you'll get more regular posts, with photos! ;)

A new house a new beginning

The last 2 months have been a breeze. I could hardly keep up. We had 2 weeks to move out of our place and move in a new home, we had a long weekend that we wanted to take advantage of and hit to roads to some places we had not visited, and we had to settle in our new home and prepare for the daily routines.

We hit up the usual Las Vegas on the first stopover in this road trip. We were lucky enough to get free room stay for 2 nights in a suite. And then it was off to San Diego, and lastly Los Angeles. We covered slot of new places this time round. Places that needed slot of time to cover. Mainly, Seaworld, Disneyland California, and Universal Studios. Yes, pictures will be coming up soon.

Settling into this new beautiful home, I'm quite satisfied with it. Initially had high expectations, wanted 2 toilets and 3 rooms. So I could have a guest toilet and a store room. But it worked out pretty great. Bigger kitchens, single toilet to share, and had an remote controlled garage which we also used to store our stuff. We also have a beautiful backyard, where I'm sitting down now to enjoy the summer, while typing out this blog post. I'm loving this home, and trying to maintain it in it's best condition that I can.

I've been happily experimenting in the kitchen as we finally have an open concept kitchen with a counter top where I can display and design my baking experiments. So you can really expect more food posts to come up, as well as tips on how to keep your homes in the best conditions, since that is what i've been reading up on mostly these days.

So, stay tuned!!

P.s. Book reviews coming soon. Some new purchases:

The Pregnancy Scare

I'm on a recent binge eating spree. I have no idea why. I've put on 4lbs over the last weekend alone. Then again it might be due to the birthday celebration of my buddy, which I organised at my house. I did home made Portuguese Egg Tarts, and a boobie birthday cake for him. He's almost like a younger brother to me, and while our friendship did not start up quite right, I guess over the course of one year, we have grown so much closer, probably due to the fact he's pretty close with my hubs, we've been going on a whole lot of roadtrips together, and has been staying over at my place almost every weekend. We've been so accustomed to each other's habits and such.

That said, finally my stress is over. I actually thought I'm pregnant. My period was late for 2 weeks and together with all these weight gain, and cravings for food, I was freaking out. I kept having the urge to puke, and was feeling nauseous at some point. I was feeling tired all the time for the past few days. To the extent, I actually used a pregnancy test kit on Sunday just to be sure.
My friend even commented my double chin is coming out again, and so was my ever bloated tummy.

My period finally came today, with a whoop for joy from me when I went to the toilet to pee. Don't get me wrong, if it turns out that I'm pregnant, the hubs and me are more than willing to keep and have a baby of our own. We're ready to complete our family, yet at the same time, we don't have any idea when is a good time to start "making babies" to prepare for that long 9 month discomfort. Plus, I have no idea how many month old does the baby have to be in order to get on the plane to fly back to Singapore in due time. I'm also worried as hell about the care of a baby since its one of my biggest fear to carry that fragile little creature, or how to give comfort to that crying beast.

We have been discussing about having kids pretty much recently. The hubs is worried that if we have one too late, health problems might arise for me, as well as the kid. We did think about having kids when we first came, and I stopped my contraceptive pills for that. I've been taking them for the past so many years, to control my menstrual flow and my cycles, due to my low blood pressure, I tend to feel faint during my period. However, seeing other families and their raging kids scares the hell out of me, and I made the hubs wear the rubber when we came around to having our bedroom workout.

I just wasn't ready for it. I don't know when will I ever be. I often wonder how other parents handle these. Hubs say, often, the skills will come naturally when it comes to you. I'm still fearful, and I feel the need to read and learn more about it before we conceive. But who am I to control the fate of nature? I guess in due time, we'll take away the rubber, and let nature decide.

My 165 rep sandbag workout today

I saw the 365 rep workout on bodyrock and decided to try it out, but I modified it as its 12am in the middle of the night when I did the workout, plus I'm still not in that much of a good shape, yet.

So instead of doing 30 each, I did 15 reps of each exercise.. And again, I modified it to suit the equipment I have. I used a 12lb "sandbag" which is actually a duffel bag I filled with pebbles.

The workout:
-Sandbag squat  backward lunge - 15 reps
-Triple knee tuck- 15 reps
-Sandbag combo - full body - 15 reps
-Forward & backward lunge w/ sandbag - 15 reps
-Sit ups - 15 reps
-Sandbag squat - 15 reps
-Plank side jumps - 15 reps
-Dips with legs straight - 15 reps
-Pendulum - 15 reps
-Push up - 15 reps
-Mountain Climbers -15 reps

Time taken: 15 mins 18 seconds.

I ended the workout with HIIT high knees. 4 mins of 20 second work, 10 second rest.

Super sweaty! But feeling oh so good! Did some ME time today, have u?

Falling off the bandwagon.

I've been saying that I want to go on this 100 day fitness streak started off my Sparkpeople, and I've tried it twice, each time only to fall short of 20 days, and fall off the bandwagon. Have you ever fallen off your fitness routine, how did you overcome it?

I found it hard to stick to it on weekends. While I know, I'm active on weekends window shopping, and gymming on Sundays, but I always feel I'm not worked out enough! Therefore, making me feel ashamed of not being disciplined enough to give myself 15 mins out of a 24 hour day. Have you ever felt this way? Feeling that you're not giving yourself enough? I like how my body is slowly toning up while I was stuck onto my routine, but once we hit a long weekend with a good 2 days of PH, and we get on a road trip, all that fitness flies out of the window.

Firstly, while on the road trip, I'm in the car sleeping half the time, 2ndly, I'm not alone in the room, we share with others, and its kinda hard to workout in shorts and sports bra while getting into awkward positions with another guy, other than my husband, in the room. I don't even workout at home, when my husband is around.

I don't think looking all wet and sweaty, with my specs about to fall off looks attractive. Plus, its hard to focus on yourself, when you're trying to avoid awkwardness with someone else staring at you. Especially not when, you have a layer of tummy flab all around you. Don't get me wrong, I love myself, and I'm not one of those obsessed with my physical appearances that I need to workout day in day out to get skinny till I look like a skeleton. As much as I hate that flab around my tummy, I'm not about to go on a crazy diet just to lose my weight.

I workout to feel good internally. To get rid of those pent up frustrations. To get stronger, so I get do more around the house than to wait for some handsome, kind, young soul, to come help me out with it. Anyone who knows my husband, knows that it takes ages to get him up and moving to get a task done. I have to nag probably 20 times to make myself feel like an old grandma, before he lifts a finger.

Given that my husband leaves me from time to time for work, each time weeks to months long, I guess its a good start for me to get myself stronger. Why do YOU workout? What keeps YOU sticking to your fitness routine?

I do need to get some sweat going, hopefully to release some frustrations of being lazy this week. I only squeezed in 1 workout this week, and its not making me feel any better.