I'm on a recent binge eating spree. I have no idea why. I've put on 4lbs over the last weekend alone. Then again it might be due to the birthday celebration of my buddy, which I organised at my house. I did home made Portuguese Egg Tarts, and a boobie birthday cake for him. He's almost like a younger brother to me, and while our friendship did not start up quite right, I guess over the course of one year, we have grown so much closer, probably due to the fact he's pretty close with my hubs, we've been going on a whole lot of roadtrips together, and has been staying over at my place almost every weekend. We've been so accustomed to each other's habits and such.
That said, finally my stress is over. I actually thought I'm pregnant. My period was late for 2 weeks and together with all these weight gain, and cravings for food, I was freaking out. I kept having the urge to puke, and was feeling nauseous at some point. I was feeling tired all the time for the past few days. To the extent, I actually used a pregnancy test kit on Sunday just to be sure.
My friend even commented my double chin is coming out again, and so was my ever bloated tummy.
My period finally came today, with a whoop for joy from me when I went to the toilet to pee. Don't get me wrong, if it turns out that I'm pregnant, the hubs and me are more than willing to keep and have a baby of our own. We're ready to complete our family, yet at the same time, we don't have any idea when is a good time to start "making babies" to prepare for that long 9 month discomfort. Plus, I have no idea how many month old does the baby have to be in order to get on the plane to fly back to Singapore in due time. I'm also worried as hell about the care of a baby since its one of my biggest fear to carry that fragile little creature, or how to give comfort to that crying beast.
We have been discussing about having kids pretty much recently. The hubs is worried that if we have one too late, health problems might arise for me, as well as the kid. We did think about having kids when we first came, and I stopped my contraceptive pills for that. I've been taking them for the past so many years, to control my menstrual flow and my cycles, due to my low blood pressure, I tend to feel faint during my period. However, seeing other families and their raging kids scares the hell out of me, and I made the hubs wear the rubber when we came around to having our bedroom workout.
I just wasn't ready for it. I don't know when will I ever be. I often wonder how other parents handle these. Hubs say, often, the skills will come naturally when it comes to you. I'm still fearful, and I feel the need to read and learn more about it before we conceive. But who am I to control the fate of nature? I guess in due time, we'll take away the rubber, and let nature decide.