Saturday, December 4, 2010

I'm a woman who never understands women.

So I'm re-watching my favourite TV series, that shows the love of women BFFs, fashion, sex, money and power.

I just simply love the way things are in that show. I just love how the women in the show are just not as judgemental of each other as compared to women I've met in my life. It just seems that the women I've met are always "jealous", always judging and always gossiping. I just hate all that. When will I ever find women who can just be like them? Close friends that stick by you whatever happens?

I've always been competitive in my work. I believe in since I'm working for money, why not do the best I can in the same number of hours I'm required to work, to earn the most out of it? I always put myself in the shoes of my boss, and push for the sales, push for the commission. Bring home the dollars, and nothing else matters.

I always push for a pay raise, a promotion within the 1st 3 months of work. And true enough, my last 2 jobs were the same. I got promoted to Asst Manager in my spa job. Based on the fact that I had the best customer service, and I had the highest tips, so to speak. $10 tips per customer were not a stranger to me. I could bag home $40 tips on top of my pay and commission any single day. And all these, from serving women, who I could totally envy their lifestyle.

On my last job, a office job, I aimed to hit higher standards. I wanted to bring home the $ for my wedding. And tried to climb the corporate ladder. Within the first months, I was doing acceptable sales as part time, if not better than what the full timers were doing. I went all out! The 2nd month, I was put to full time, and by the 3rd month I was full timer, I had my pay raised. Of course, that also meant higher targets. But I did hit all my targets, in fact, I hit the highest sales ever in the company within 6 months of the job. And I had all the bragging rights, since no other person in the company did that before.

Of course, all that came with a price. Gossips, back stabs, everything. I left my first job because the other women tried to steal my customers, and back stabbed me to the boss, behind my back. The 2nd job, I left because I was going to get married, and leave for USA. I could deal with all the gossips, all the hate. My boss knew my work style, and I came to work everyday to work on my own, for myself. And I didn't have to bother about anything else, other than the fact that I had the biggest pay check every month, to afford all the stuff and holidays I wanted.

I'm the kind of girl, who's direct, who loves to shoot straight to the point. If I'm not happy, I say it out, and we fix the problem, and get over it with a good glass of liquor. And I stay true to it, I leave it at that. I don't gossip anymore and I have fun after that. Many friends have stated, I'm a man stuck in a woman's body. I avoid gossip that all women love.

I have no idea sometimes, how women work. I used to have great girl friends, back in secondary school and part time work days. But stuff happened, and things changed. And we just came apart, and went on our own paths. I guess thru all the experiences in life I've had, I just grew up differently and thought of things way differently from other girls around my age.

As much as I yearned the times where we had girly fun, I'd much rather have a gay BFF or a patient man most of the time. One who could listen to all my rants, not feel that I'm too vulgar, enjoy liquor, or judge me for who I am. I've been away from women for so long, I'm actually finding it weird to blend in with a group of women now. Probably I love my peace. I dont know.

I've been hanging out with other wives since the Hubs left for his detachment. But who knows, this might be group for me. This might be the crowd that I could mix with. Maybe I've come to terms with how women are, and might be able to blend in. Maybe married life might change me. We'll see.

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